Wednesday, April 18, 2012

*marriage wednesdays!*

do you ever have the urge to do something drastic, new, spunky? i sure do - all the time! so i'm here to try just that - add some more flair to my blog. starting today i'm going to be doing a weekly post called *marriage wednesdays!*

 (don't leave just yet.)

being a junior/senior human development major,  i've learned so many valuable tips, ideas, theories, words of advice, etc. etc. on marriage and family. to say the very least - i absolutely love it! and since one day i hope to become a counselor, i thought to myself, "self, you should share this knowledge with the world." yes, i realize i am no expert on marriage, but i do enjoy it and know that many couples are looking for ways to connect better with their spouse. i'm hoping the things i post will be of some help to somebody!

to start off - i'm doing posts from a marriage genius, john gottman. these tips for strengthening marriage all come from his book the seven principles for making marriage work, and all have proven very successful.  

principle number one: enhance your love maps

a love map is, "that part of your brain where you store all the relevant information about your partner's life... the more you know and understand about each other, the easier it is to keep connected as life swirls around you."

here comes the fun part - to strengthen your love maps for your spouse, play the love map 20 questions game! all you need is a piece of paper and pen/pencil. taking twenty at a time, answer the questions below the best you can about your spouse. if you want to be a little competitive and take score, you can with the points in parenthesis. after twenty questions, stop and talk about your answers. 
 (we did this and honestly - you will end up knowing things you didn't even realize you didn't know!) 

1. name two of my closest friends. (2)
2. what is my favorite musical group, composer, or instrument? (2)
3. what was i wearing when we first met? (2)
4. name one of my hobbies. (3)
5. where was i born? (1)
6. what stresses am i facing right now? (4)
7. describe in detail what i did today, or yesterday. (4)
8. when is my birthday? (1)
9. what is the date of our anniversary? (1)
10. who is my favorite relative? (2)
11. what is my fondest unrealized dream? (5) 
12. what is my favorite flower? (2)
13. what is one of my greatest fears or disaster scenarios? (3)
14. what is my favorite time of day for lovemaking? (3)
15. what makes me feel most competent? (4)
16. what turns me on sexually? (3)
17. what is my favorite meal? (2)
18. what is my favorite way to spend an evening? (2)
19. what is my favorite color? (1)
20. what personal improvements do I want to make in my life? (4)
21. what kind of present would I like best? (2)
22. what was one of my best childhood experiences? (2)
23. what was my favorite vacation? (2)
24. what is one of my favorite ways to be soothed? (4)
25. who is my greatest source of support (other than you)? (3)
26. what is my favorite sport? (2)
27. what do i most like to do with time off? (2)
28. what is one of my favorite weekend activities? (2)
29. what is my favorite getaway place? (3)
30. what is my favorite movie? (2)
31. what are some of the important events coming up in my life? how do i feel about them? (4)
32. what are some of my favorite ways to work out? (2)
33. who was my best friend in childhood? (3)
34. what is one of my favorite magazines? (2)
35. name one of my major rivals or “enemies.” (3) 
36. what would i consider my ideal job? (4)
37. what do i fear the most? (4)
38. who is my least favorite relative? (3)
39. what is my favorite holiday? (2)
40. what kinds of books do i most like to read? (3)
41. what is my favorite tv show? (2)
42. which side of the bed do i prefer? (2)
43. what am i most sad about? (4)
44. name one of my concerns or worries. (4)
45. what medical problems do i worry about? (2)
46. what was my most embarrassing moment? (3)
47. what was my worst childhood experience? (3)
48. name two of the people i most admire. (4)
49. name my major rival or enemy. (3)
50. of all the people we both know, who do i like the least? (3)
51. what is one of my favorite desserts? (2)
52. what is my social security number? (2)
53. name one of my favorite novels. (2)
54. what is my favorite restaurant? (2)
55. what are two of my aspirations, hopes, wishes? (4)
56. do i have a secret ambition? what is it? (4)
57. what foods do i hate? (2)
58. what is my favorite animal? (2)
59. what is my favorite song? (2) 
60. which sports team is my favorite? (2)

i hope this was worthwhile - let me know how it went :) 


  1. very very cool! I'm going to do this with my husband tonight!! :)

  2. I definitely did this last week and we loved it! I just printed two copies of your second tip and we're doing it tonight. :)


These little notes sure brighten my day :)