starting now.

as most of you remember from this post - on december 14th my grandpa jim passed away. although it was hard to say goodbye, i know it was the right thing and after 97 years of a faithful life - it was his time.

today, his daughter (my aunt charlene) joined him. i cannot help but feel a reassuring voice through all this telling my family, and most especially my beautiful mother, that they are together. they are happy. and we should be as well.

before this past month i hadn't ever sat and thought too hard about life and how quick it goes by. but now that i've been reflecting on these two very influential lives - i have really been thinking about how i want to be remembered.

from there examples, this is what i've come up with... granted, there is more to add. i think it will just take a lifetime to realize all of them :)

• my grandpa was THE most accepting person i have ever met. he was always so willing and open to love. unconditionally. to follow his example - i want to be more accepting of people. all people. all their flaws and all their strengths. at times i tend to be a little overboard on the competitiveness scale, but i want to tone that down and accept that others can be better than me at the little AND the big things. (like sports. geez, i have a rough time admitting that boys can just naturally run faster. i hate that.)
• my aunt always had the most beautiful smile. for the last two years of her life she suffered from ALS. (also known as Lou Gehrig's Disease) this disease attacks the nerves of the body and can be extremely painful. despite the pain she was constantly in, charlene always had that sincere smile on her face. although i didn't realize it at the time, this was always so infectious for the people around her. i don't know how she did it, but i want to be more prone to just smile. smile when life is good and more importantly - smile when it is tough.
  
• my grandfather had a respect for others. even if they were eighty years younger than him, he always found the positive things about a person and focused on it. i am going to do that. i'm going to be less quick to judge and more quick to respect people and their life situations.

starting now. i am so grateful and indebted to both these relatives and hope that through me - their examples can keep on living.

sorry for rambling... thanks for listening :)